Chapter 16

David woke up on a hard floor in a small room that smelled like a zoo.

Actually, it wasn’t really a room; it was more like a cell. It even had a barred door.

“Fuuuck…”

David didn’t know what happened, but he was pretty sure Mano was to blame.

“Mano?”

There was no response.

“MANO?”

“Yeah, he’s definitely awake!” David couldn’t see who was shouting, and he couldn’t recognize the voice, either.

A few moments later, a man was standing over David on the other side of the cell door. He was wearing a dirty lab coat that was probably white at one time but wasn’t white anymore, and it had a tattered Vyo-GenetiX logo on its breast.

David recognized the Vyo-GenetiX logo instantly. No other company would ever use something similar. It was less like a brand mark and more like an afterthought. At the end, the creator must have realized their mistake, so they threw in some starburst clip art for good measure.

“How are you feeling?”

“Ugh,” David grunted.

“Sorry you’re in a holding pen,” the man said. “We don’t exactly have places for unconscious people.”

David stretched his back; it was aching from the unkind floor. “You don’t have a couch? Or even some pillows?”

“We didn’t expect you to be out for so long.”

“I haven’t been getting much sleep…”

David peered around the man to see a lab full of small cages with animals.

“Where’s Mano?”

“He’s fine. He’s not happy, but he’s fine.”

“He’s only happy when he’s making other people miserable.”

“Well, he’s certainly trying,” the man said. “He made Brad cry.”

David nodded; that sounded like Mano.

“I’m Dr. Cooper, by the way, and this is—“

“Yeah, yeah, how long is all this going to take?”

Dr. Cooper frowned. “We have a lot of questions for you. Hopefully, you’ll be more cooperative than Subject 8-9.”

“Depends. Will I get him back? He’s sort of become a necessary evil in my life.”

“We have a lot of tests—“

“Oh, god, tests? Tell me that doesn’t include an autopsy.”

“The way he’s haranguing my scientists, I can’t make any promises.”

Dr. Cooper let David out of the cell on the condition that he not touch anything. Considering some of the funny-colored liquids could probably cause him to grow a dog snout or something, he was only too happy to oblige.

David had always imagined the labs at Vyo-GenetiX would be sparkling white, clean, and the tables would bear beakers and test tubes filled with a rainbow of colors. Instead, the lab was kind of a dingy grey. The tables were mostly covered in piles of papers, many of which had fallen over. The beakers and test tubes held mostly clear and brownish liquids. And there were cages everywhere full of creatures the existence of which would make god cry.

Not that the scientists in this lab believed in god. They were already competing with evolution; adding god to the mix would just make it more complicated.

Dr. Cooper signaled to his colleague to get his clipboard ready.

“So, why did you buy Subject 8-9?”

It was only one question and already David felt like he was under intense interrogation. “I, uh… He told me to.”

The scientist following Dr. Cooper scribbled something down on his clipboard.

“Is Subject 8-9 the only animal that’s ever talked to you?”

“Yeah.”

More scribbling.

David looked at the scientist critically. “What are you writing? All I said was ‘Yeah.’”

Furious scribbling followed.

“Ignore him,” Dr. Cooper said. “Did Subject 8-9 ever talk to anyone besides you?”

“Uh… not really. I think he, uh, pretended to be the voice of god once to my boss.”

“For what purpose?”

“He got me a raise. Oh, and free rabbit stuff.”

David noticed a blob with a dog tail oozing around its cage. Touch is a powerful way to explore the world, and people often have a common urge to poke at strange things. Now was not one of those times.

“Was Subject 8-9 ever violent?”

The blob was making slurping noises against the bars of its cage, and its tail wagged like it was trying to beat the air to death.

“Uh, I don’t think so. ‘Not gentle’ would be a better description.”

“I see.”

The blob was pressing against the bars with a vengeance.

“That thing can’t get out, can it?”

“Oh, no, it’s solid. Now, where were we? Ah, yes, what do you mean ‘not gentle’?”

“He, uh… he fu—…er, ‘sexually intercoursed’ the hell out of my girlfriend.”

“And is she okay?”

“Sure,” David said. “She’s fine, but my confidence is fu—screwed. Hey, why is he writing so much again?”

Dr. Cooper turned to look at the clipboard for a moment. “He thinks your inability to say ‘fuck’ in this context is interesting.”

“It’s not interesting,” David said, a heat igniting in him. “This whole thing is just uncomfortable as hell. How many questions do you have? Because if you’re looking for details of Mano’s exploits, I’m the wrong person to ask. He never told me shit.”

“Why not?”

The heat David had felt in his chest just a moment ago had already burned out. “Well, I asked him not to, though he usually doesn’t listen to me, so… I dunno.”

“Why’d you ask him not to?”

“I’m faithful to Amanda!”

The scientist was now scribbling enough to fill a Bible.

David narrowed his eyes. “What’s going on? I thought you wanted to know about Mano.”

“It helps to know what your state of mind was throughout the experiment.”

“Experiment?”

Dr. Cooper had the face of someone who’d just used the exact wrong word in the given situation. “Well, once we realized—“

“Hell with this. Where’s Mano? We’re done.”

Dr. Cooper sighed. “Don’t make us sedate you.”

“Sedate me? I’m not one of your lab rats!”

“You’re an employee of Bob’s Pets, and in your contract it states that—“

David stomped toward the hallway. “MANO?! WHERE ARE YOU?! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU GOTTEN ME INTO?!”

Dr. Cooper’s eyes looked in the direction of his colleague. “Yeah, you should probably get that syringe ready.”

David seemed about ready to storm the halls and kick down doors. Suddenly, he fell to the ground and sat in the doorway, like all the energy had gone out of him.

He had a feeling that the effort it took to rage through the building would be wasted.

In another room of the building, someone else seemed to have similar feelings to David, only rage was still an option.

“I AM NOT YOUR GODDAMN EXPERIMENT!”

“Stop struggling, 8-9.”

The rabbit didn’t comply. “I’m a sentient, self-aware creature! I have rights!”

“The Constitution protects humans, not—”

“I have human DNA!”

“Is anyone going to help me with this fucking rabbit?!”

One of the other scientists sighed and walked over to hold the rabbit still while the other scientist stuck it with the syringe. He continued to keep it pinned down until its movements became less erratic.

“That’s better. Christ, I’m glad we didn’t put human DNA in a tiger.”

The other scientist nodded in agreement.

“Now what do we do?”

The other scientist removed a sheet of paper from the table and quickly read the last few lines. “Uh, according to this, we wait for further instructions.”

“God dammit, I hate when they do that.”

It turned out, “wait for further instructions” meant “wait for one of the higher-ups to come in and ask questions.” It took Dr. Adams ten minutes to show up.

Mano was awake, but a little tired and unable to hear what anyone was thinking.

“You wasted your time making a compound that shuts down my telepathy?”

“It’s a good thing we did,” Dr. Adams said. “You’ve been quite rude to some our scientists.”

“Pussies.”

“Yes, thank you for proving my point. Moving on…” Dr. Adams looked at his clipboard. “Why David?”

“Why not?”

“That’s not a real answer.”

“Hey, earlier I heard Chris over there thinking that you’re a—“

“Not interested. Moving on…”

“Hey, I have a question,” Mano interrupted. “Why should I answer any of your stupid questions? You kidnap me, you drug me, you ask me inane shi—“

“We may be able to offer you something.”

Mano waited.

“We’re trying to get some of our scientists to volunteer to let you, er, ‘borrow’ them,” the scientist said. “Offering them vacation days, overtime, whatever.”

“Oh, that’s—“

“But right now, no one’s volunteering.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, you’re kind of a dick.”

Answering questions was boring. The questions were boring. The room they sat David in was boring. Everything was boring. It was like they wanted him to die of boredom so that he wouldn’t be a liability.

Dr. Cooper tried to be friendly and showed David a little more of the building, meaning he showed him part of the hallways and the front lobby.

David didn’t really know why a place like this would bother with a front lobby, but then again, maybe it was a requirement that every business have a lobby. Obviously, not having a lobby would somehow impair their ability to splice genes, alter DNA, and just generally fuck with Mother Nature’s creations.

The lobby had a nice glass partition and a sleek receptionist desk behind which a receptionist may or may never be. The chairs looked very uncomfortable, because people are supposed to suffer while they’re waiting. There was probably something in the walls to screw up cell phone reception, too.

“Why have you kept Mano?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” said Dr. Cooper, “it’s not like he’s a healthy influence.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve been watching Subject 8-9 for a while. There’s a pool going for where you’ll be at the end of the year.”

“Really?” David considered it a moment. “What’s winning?”

“Suicide is at the top of the list, followed closely by alcohol poisoning.”

“Oh. What about ‘famous artist’?”

“That’s not even on the board.”

When Dr. Cooper finished his tour, he left David in his office so he could attend to other matters. David rested on the couch, happy not to be back in the cell.

David?

“Ma—“

DON’T YOU DARE TALK OUT LOUD! Shut your mouth, lie down on the couch, and close your eyes. They have cameras everywh—DO NOT LOOK FOR THE CAMERAS!

David lay down on the couch and closed his eyes.

Where are you?

In a room right down the hall from where you are now. They gave me something to block my telepathy, but it’s already wearing off. Idiots.

I asked them to let me see you. I’m sure—

They’re not going to let us be in a room together, you idiot. They’re going to keep us apart, they’re going to ask you a lot of questions, and at some point they’ll realize they have a human in their possession and that there are all kinds of experiments they could use a human for. It’s easy enough to make you disappear.

That sounds like conspiracy bullshit.

Would you not—ugh. These are scientists, David. They have no morals. They have no conscience. What they do have is us. One of those three things is changeable.

They said they’ve been watching us. How did you not notice them?!

They must have hidden cameras in places you frequent. Hey, that probably means you can see video of Amanda and I fu—

Oh, yes. This is really winning me over.

Just shut up and come get me.

How?

Well, walk over to the door and see if they locked it.

They wouldn’t leave the door unlocked.

They think you’re a gullible fool. Go try the door.

David sighed, sat up, and walked over to the door.

There’s no way it’s—

The knob turned in his hand.

Huh. Well, that’s insulting.

Write them an angry note later. If they’re watching the video feeds right now, they already know you’ve left the room.

Great. Where are you?

Three doors down on the right.

Do I need a pass-code or some—

Where the hell do you think we are? This isn’t a sci-fi prison. They work on animals here.

All right, all right.

David hurried down the hallway.

Fucking pass-codes. Next you’ll be asking about fingerprint scanners and clearance levels. Maybe—

David got to the third door on the right. The door didn’t so much as creak angrily; it was happy to let him right in.

—and don’t forget the fucking Spetnaz they hired for security guards—

Hey, you’re the one who said they’d experiment on me and make me “disappear.”

Body disposal is cheap, dumbass.

Mano was in a little cage on a table against the wall. David popped it open and lifted the rabbit out. And started laughing.

It’s a little bunny straight jacket!

It’s not funny.

Contrary to what Mano just said, it was indeed very funny.

It’s a tiny—

Go left, dumbass.

—little—

Down that hall.

—straight jacket!

Hurried footsteps echoed through the corridors.

Shit!

Duck into the room on the right.

David ducked into the room—

I said right!

—on the left.

A horrified gurgle pushed its way up David’s throat, and he only barely managed to kill it before it became a full-fledged horrified wail.

The room smelled like a charnel house. It was full of cages, stacked top to bottom, filled with things that had gone… very wrong. Viscous fluids dripped between the bars.

David closed his eyes tight and waited for his next set of orders, which next time he’d hopefully get right. Mano listened closely to the footsteps, and as they got closer he could hear the thoughts of the person those footsteps belonged to.

Stay still, fool.

David hadn’t realized he was trying to push himself through the wall and out of the room. He tried to keep his back to the wall without moving; it was difficult. The smells alone instinctually urged him that staying motionless in this room was a bad idea. His body squirmed with the desire to be somewhere else.

David could hear the footsteps outside the door. He was trying to be silent, absolutely still. He wouldn’t think about the things he’d just seen, the things he still smelled.

That’s when David vomited violently onto the floor.

That’s why I said right!

The door crashed open.

David expected to see someone military-ish standing in the doorway. Not a ninja or Special Forces, but something more than a lousy security guard with nothing more than a flashlight, definitely. He’d have a walkie-talkie and a gun and probably a really painful taser that would already be aimed at David’s chest.

What David actually got was a man in a lab coat. He was equipped with a cheap ID badge clipped to a pocket stuffed with pens, but he didn’t have a gun or taser aimed at David.

David tried to rush past him, but the scientist grabbed his upper arm and David felt a sharp pain.

“Ow! What the—”

David hadn’t been able to see the syringe in the scientist’s other hand.

Run, you idiot!

David slammed the scientist against the door frame and ran. His arm burned a little where the scientist had injected him.

You’re crushing my ribcage!

David tried to loosen his left hand’s grip on the rabbit a little, but running was foremost in his mind. Running very fast.

He exited the maze of corridors and found himself in the front lobby. A couple of the scientists were already there waiting for him. The bigger one on the right headed straight for him. David suddenly wished he’d ever played football; some of those skills would probably come in handy right now.

His head suddenly felt a little woozy. His vision blurred, but still he tried to dodge the scientist coming for him, ducking under his arms. The scientists probably hadn’t played football, either.

David’s movements slowed; he felt like he was trying to run through molasses. His feet went numb, his legs felt heavy, and the world dimmed. David pitched forward, clutched Mano to his chest in his left hand, and fell into the glass partition.

His right hand instinctively shot out, and the pane shattered as he hit it. It burst like thunder, glass raining down. He hit the floor full-force. Something soft cracked and squished. Glass crunched underneath him as he struggled to move. Some of the shards were tinged with red. That seemed like a bad sign.

And that’s when it went dark.